我很想你（们 ）。。。

Looking through old photos everytime never fail to make my heart ache. This is the first time I'm having such a feeling. It's worse than a break-up. Or maybe I haven't really experienced a bad break-up before. But this feels pretty close to one.

Looking at us on the screen all smiley and happy, makes me think back on all the endless memorable memories we had. Note the past tense, HAD. I don't think we can ever be like that anymore. What about you?

I can't believe I have to always rely on photos to relieve past memories of us. When are we going to create new memories again? I have absolutely no idea. Maybe time really will mend everything, but I don't know how long I can take this.

You have no idea how much I've missed you guys. Thinking back, there might have been some wrongs which caused all of this to unfold, but I still feel that the happy memories overwrite them all. Am I the only one thinking like that?

Even though everything seems fine on the surface now, deep down, I know it's nowhere near to fine. The friendship is already somewhat damaged. I really still can't accept the fact that you used these reasons to debate your case. Over such a short span of time, everything just changed and turned sour with no warning of any impending storm.

I still remember not too long ago, I just wrote my first letter from the 30 Letters Meme. It was for my best friend. I said I didn't have just one, I have a whole bunch of them. I was really really happy with my life at that point of time, with everyone. It feels as if I have nothing to worry about because I have you people. I have this thinking that you guys will be in my life FOREVER. Not to say you guys are totally out of my life now, but obviously things are definitely not the same as before.

I get this feeling that you guys really don't mind us being out of your life most of the time. Well, I cannot make myself do that! I tried, but I always find myself back to square 1. I hate to make myself sound like a desperate person. Maybe tonight's weather is affecting me, or fats is listening to emo chinese songs. Whatever I don't know. Hopefully I'll be better tomorrow. Okilys then! Shall stop this nonsensical post which makes no sense to most people. Nights people! Love all of you! <3

Tomorrow shall be a MUCH better day. =)






     我相信我们之间的爱与友情是永恒的。♥

Why???

Why am I constantly afraid of hurting you and taking care of your feelings when you don't really seem to care. I feel like sucha idiot. Rawr!!!! Bye.

21...

21 is quite a significant number for almost everyone. Especially when you're turning 21 years old. It's the time when you're legal enough to do pretty much everything without going through your parents' consent. Well, I mean, there are stuff that you still need advice from your parents. But at least even if they are against it and you really wanna do it, JUST DO IT. Nobody can stop you. Nobody can question you asking if you're mature enough. Cuz YOU ARE. And that's just the power of turning 21. It's pretty awesome in a way. Heh.

So in my group of close girlfriends, all of them had already turned 21. I'm the only one left. Well, it doesn't matter much to me. Cuz I still feel like a little girl even though I'm 21 this year already. Nothing has changed since last year when I started working. Everything still feels the same and IS the same. The only thing that has changed is my age and that's not really important. Time just pass so fleetingly by. And it can neither be stopped nor slowed down. We just gotta accept it as it is. And I'm kinda typing rubbish here already.

This blog is like half-dead already. I have millions of back dated posts which I have absolutely zero mind to do. HAHAHA. Seriously. Once you started working full-time, updating your blog is one of the LAST things on your mind. My laptop has not been turned on for a few months! CAN YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT!? My main online social media device is my Blackberry. Thank god for it. Hopefully there'll be more cooler apps like the iphone's soon.

Anyways, like I said, I'm turning 21 soon. My friends have been urging me to throw a party or just a small private one for close friends. But I really don't feel like it. It's not so much of the money spent. I don't mind spending the money if everyone is gonna have fun together. But I just don't wanna be in the limelight! It's so embarrassing. God. I dislike everyone crowding around me and singing me a birthday song. I dislike everyone treating me a little more special than usual just cuz it's my birthday. I dislike having to mingle and entertain different group of friends just cuz it's my party and I have to talk to everyone to be a good hostess. I don't wanna be no hostess at a party. I just wanna attend the party and eat lovely food. Which is kinda impossible if you're the birthday girl. So...NO PARTY. Hahaha,

Okily, since nobody ever reads this blog anymore. I think it's okay to post the nonsensical stuff I feel like getting. Hahaha. Mostly Hello Kitty. HEH!

It's a hello kitty touch screen phone!! HOW FREAKING CUTE IS THIS!!? HAHAHA!! It'll be so cool if your phone rings and you whip this THING out. The whole world will go like "WHUDDDD???" In either a good way or bad lah. All subjected to personal preference. Hahaha. My favourite is the white coloured one. HEH. I really MIGHT just get it if it doesn't cost a bomb. TEE HEE. So bimbo but so cute!

This is a blackberry portable charger. SO CUTE! She hui is right. Now no need to pay copy right fees for making hello kitty products, so more and more kitty products. WHICH IS AWESOME FOR ME! Cuz I can get all the cute stuff at a fraction of the price. WHEE~ The eyes of the kitty will light up in blue colour when it's charging your blackberry. HOW CUTE IS THAT!? But 40plus bucks for this. I wonder if it's too expensive? Will give more thought on this. =)

I suddenly don't know how to continue this post already. So I guess it's bye.

Not Tired?

I wonder how some people can dress up for just about ANY ah gua occassion. Even when it's something REAAALLYY mundane like going to the market to get breakfast or something.

NOT TIRED ONE MEH??

Or maybe they just look good naturally. Which in that case, I shall shut up.

BYE.

WHY SO CHIO. I WANNA MY HAIR TO BE LIDDIS ALSO!

Updates!

Just came back from a cruise not long ago and boy, was it fun! Hahaha. Still having withdrawal symtoms. Fats and I are currently smitten with guys from other Asian countries. Namely, Philippines and Thailand. WAHAHA! ASN said, "Eew!" I would totally say that if I didn't went for the cruise trip. Hahaha.

Before you guys go judging me, lemme ask you.

How can you resist guys looking like THIS???

 I have no idea what the mosiac is for. Hahah. He lookes pretty decent to me. Maybe some of you might not find him attractive enough lah. But still pretty cute what no?

Fine, next.

Is he handsome or is he handsome?? Okay, he did cheat a little in the looks department since he's half-german. KNS. Most thai guys look NOTHING like that. No offense. Hahah. He's the male lead in the thai movie I was talking about! Super sweet. PLEASE GO AND WATCH KAY. Just bear with the gay sounding thai language for awhile, you'll get used to it as the movie goes on cuz you'll be too engrossed in the storyline. Hahaha.

 

NAH! WATCH! 

Title : First love ( A little thing called love)

Sighhh, why doesn't this kind of things happen? And why is he SO CUTE!!? Stupid half german of a thai. Hahah.

Aiyah suan le. Nobody will understand except fats. I gotta stop having nonsense thoughts in my mind! SO TIRING.

Nights all. OT hell week starts NOW. =(