1. Sorry officer. I am still not used to the car because i just stole it.
2. That means you were also travelling at that speed to catch up with me, so...that means you also got speed what! Ehh..you got saman yourself or not?
3. Can you hold my beer while I find my driving licence?
4. I'm not drunk! I'm.....special.
5. Stop sign? Tsk, i cant see anything without my bleedy specs.
6. Sorry, I've tied up my boss in the trunk and I was just in a hurry to buy some cement before the shop closes.
7. Why was I speeding? Aiyah, because i didnt see you in time mah!
8. What detergent you use to get your uniform so white ah?
9. I was speeding officer, because this cocaine need to be delivered by noon.
10. Speeding? Cannot be! I'm too drunk to speed!
11. It's okay officer. I am personally teaching this dog how to drive.
12. I was going at 140km/h? It was at least 160, man!
13. (After bringing down the window) Can i get 2 cheeseburgers and one coke?
14. Sorry for speeding, but i got an appointment with your wife la.
15. Thanks officer! I'm going to tell everyone just how fair you tarffic policemen are! You are the fourth officer this week to let me off with just a warning!
Friday, August 25, 2006
tHinGs NOT tO sAy tO dE pOliCe oFficEr wHo jUsT pULLeD oVeR uR cAr...
Monday, August 21, 2006
tOm, DicK aNd HaRRy!!
haha...you guys must be wondering bout my title huh? oh well..it's a secret between mi, ah po and ah ling. haha..and i am so not goin to tell you guys..
*whistles*
*look round uneasily*
*smiles weakly*
ALRIGHT!! i shall tell you guys ok. BUT promise that you will tell NO ONE!! absolutely NO ONE!!
i have just watched 50 first dates. and dere is a character called "10 second Tom". His memory can only last for 10 seconds. Poor thing. I cant imagine about days like that. It's too evil. Then i told ah ling they all. and i started calling ah ling Tom. so she will go like "Hi! I'm Tom!" *extends hand for a shake* We would all shake it and introduce ourselves. Then...
10 Seconds later....
Tom Ah LinG: Hi! I'm Tom!
At this point of time, we were all ready to bash her up and knock out her teeth. haha..and she will keep pestering you for a handshake. BUT..de good thing is...
Me: Hey tom! Do you know that u've got a funky smell and u sucks..like ALOT?
Tom ah ling: Hey...you!! you are de rudest person i have ever met! i hate you!!
Me: Oh yea? You do huh? well..guess what? i dont care!! WAHAHAHA...
Tom ah ling: WHY YOU LITTLE.....Hi! I'm Tom!
See? do u guys get what i mean? haha..it was just so farnie!!
You can also hurt her physically. And she wont even have time to retaliate.
Me: Hey tom! Look here!!
Tom ah ling: Wha...
*Me proceeds to slap her hard on her face*
Tom ah ling: hey! that kinda hurt!! I'm gonna getcha!
*starts to raise her hand 2 slap mie back*
*Me look at her with a smirk on me face*
*tom ah ling starts to shake her head violently as if clearing out tots*
Tom ah ling: Whoa! I've got a terrible headache! I think i must have been hit by a train! Man!
Me: *Laughing all de way*
Tom ah ling: *scratching her 10 sec memory head*
I am having such a ball bullying poor Tom. haha..guess i have 2 end here lor. gotta go bathe. TATA!!
PS: I AM NOT DICK!!!!!!!
*whistles*
*look round uneasily*
*smiles weakly*
ALRIGHT!! i shall tell you guys ok. BUT promise that you will tell NO ONE!! absolutely NO ONE!!
i have just watched 50 first dates. and dere is a character called "10 second Tom". His memory can only last for 10 seconds. Poor thing. I cant imagine about days like that. It's too evil. Then i told ah ling they all. and i started calling ah ling Tom. so she will go like "Hi! I'm Tom!" *extends hand for a shake* We would all shake it and introduce ourselves. Then...
10 Seconds later....
Tom Ah LinG: Hi! I'm Tom!
At this point of time, we were all ready to bash her up and knock out her teeth. haha..and she will keep pestering you for a handshake. BUT..de good thing is...
Me: Hey tom! Do you know that u've got a funky smell and u sucks..like ALOT?
Tom ah ling: Hey...you!! you are de rudest person i have ever met! i hate you!!
Me: Oh yea? You do huh? well..guess what? i dont care!! WAHAHAHA...
Tom ah ling: WHY YOU LITTLE.....Hi! I'm Tom!
See? do u guys get what i mean? haha..it was just so farnie!!
You can also hurt her physically. And she wont even have time to retaliate.
Me: Hey tom! Look here!!
Tom ah ling: Wha...
*Me proceeds to slap her hard on her face*
Tom ah ling: hey! that kinda hurt!! I'm gonna getcha!
*starts to raise her hand 2 slap mie back*
*Me look at her with a smirk on me face*
*tom ah ling starts to shake her head violently as if clearing out tots*
Tom ah ling: Whoa! I've got a terrible headache! I think i must have been hit by a train! Man!
Me: *Laughing all de way*
Tom ah ling: *scratching her 10 sec memory head*
I am having such a ball bullying poor Tom. haha..guess i have 2 end here lor. gotta go bathe. TATA!!
PS: I AM NOT DICK!!!!!!!
Saturday, August 19, 2006
nEw dEsIgN!!
hey hey!!
guess what every BODY? yea...? uh huh...i hear you. You got that right!! Man..de bodies are great! They actually said my blog was like the coolest!! it's happening! It's happening!! hiak hiak hiak...
Alright, this is 1 part which i dont like to post about. What is it? yea..Thanking the dumb designer. Hiaz..life is so torturing for mie..
Okay..i have no choice but to do this. ONG AH LING...thanks like em...so..de...erm...much 4 de blog design lor. PHEW! *wipes sweat off brow*
okay lar!! ah ling will scold mi if i just anyhow de. Formal letter lar...
Blk 123 Hello kitty land
Singapore 123456
19 August 2006
Blk 321 Tigger Land
Singapore 654321
Dear Miss Ong Ah Ling,
why must you be called ah ling? Why not ah mao ah kow or even ah huay? den u can help sell poh choo tau huay. wahahahahaha!!! Okay..just wanna say i am really grateful for your help in designing it to my liking. I really truly appreciate it. I love you so much. Dont leave! cuz if u do, no one will design it 2 my liking le. baby dont go~~
haha..is that enuf ah huay? haha..end dis with one word. AQUARIUS~~
my dear auqaman..haha...dis post is like de lamest lor. wahahaha...
"I'm feeling so horny now!"
guess what every BODY? yea...? uh huh...i hear you. You got that right!! Man..de bodies are great! They actually said my blog was like the coolest!! it's happening! It's happening!! hiak hiak hiak...
Alright, this is 1 part which i dont like to post about. What is it? yea..Thanking the dumb designer. Hiaz..life is so torturing for mie..
Okay..i have no choice but to do this. ONG AH LING...thanks like em...so..de...erm...much 4 de blog design lor. PHEW! *wipes sweat off brow*
okay lar!! ah ling will scold mi if i just anyhow de. Formal letter lar...
Blk 123 Hello kitty land
Singapore 123456
19 August 2006
Blk 321 Tigger Land
Singapore 654321
Dear Miss Ong Ah Ling,
why must you be called ah ling? Why not ah mao ah kow or even ah huay? den u can help sell poh choo tau huay. wahahahahaha!!! Okay..just wanna say i am really grateful for your help in designing it to my liking. I really truly appreciate it. I love you so much. Dont leave! cuz if u do, no one will design it 2 my liking le. baby dont go~~
haha..is that enuf ah huay? haha..end dis with one word. AQUARIUS~~
my dear auqaman..haha...dis post is like de lamest lor. wahahaha...
"I'm feeling so horny now!"
Monday, August 14, 2006
aQuArIuS~~~~~
haha...nowadays our group of four is always discussing bout M18 movies. haha..esp de 40 year old virgin. our group of four consists of:
fing fong fiang AKA Fanni AKA Porno Fang AKA Fang Fang.
Ah Ling AKA Kai Ling
Ah Po/Ah Pen/诗人 whatever it is. haha..AKA Kai Shi
Ah Jo/Vanessa AKA Zu Er
haha..damn lame lor. always talking bout it.
"Me so horny. Me love you so much!"
"Me so horny? Me so stupid!"
"I am aquaman!" *stretches that THING* *gUfFaWs*
"Your friend is very shiny."
and not to forget the famous "Aquarius~" *eyes rolling upwards* haha!!!
We also talk about Click. haha...
"You are just jealous cuz Donna and i are going to the gym and all the guys will be looking at us."
"oOh oOh!" *waves hands in de air*
"oOh oOh!" *another action which is kind of explict to say*
" Oh Donna, that is so sweet! I am feeling so horny now!" *wearing the simpsons shirt n tokkin like an idiot*
haha..really. Life gets so much interesting with people like Jenny in Click. you guys should all go watch de movie and laugh your heads off. haha..you can also expect to cry buckets. haha...
I am loving time in class so much now. It's so farnie when there are so many pple to laugh bout this kind of stuffs with you. wahaha..
teachers are all getting so worked up nowadays. wonder why. PMS maybe? haha..who knows? all i noe is that dey are scaring de shit outta mie!! Anyway...just wanna tell them one word. AQUARIUS~~~~ haha...no la. de one word is CHILL!!!! in de freezer!!! *laughs like an idiot to myself*
fing fong fiang AKA Fanni AKA Porno Fang AKA Fang Fang.
Ah Ling AKA Kai Ling
Ah Po/Ah Pen/诗人 whatever it is. haha..AKA Kai Shi
Ah Jo/Vanessa AKA Zu Er
haha..damn lame lor. always talking bout it.
"Me so horny. Me love you so much!"
"Me so horny? Me so stupid!"
"I am aquaman!" *stretches that THING* *gUfFaWs*
"Your friend is very shiny."
and not to forget the famous "Aquarius~" *eyes rolling upwards* haha!!!
We also talk about Click. haha...
"You are just jealous cuz Donna and i are going to the gym and all the guys will be looking at us."
"oOh oOh!" *waves hands in de air*
"oOh oOh!" *another action which is kind of explict to say*
" Oh Donna, that is so sweet! I am feeling so horny now!" *wearing the simpsons shirt n tokkin like an idiot*
haha..really. Life gets so much interesting with people like Jenny in Click. you guys should all go watch de movie and laugh your heads off. haha..you can also expect to cry buckets. haha...
I am loving time in class so much now. It's so farnie when there are so many pple to laugh bout this kind of stuffs with you. wahaha..
teachers are all getting so worked up nowadays. wonder why. PMS maybe? haha..who knows? all i noe is that dey are scaring de shit outta mie!! Anyway...just wanna tell them one word. AQUARIUS~~~~ haha...no la. de one word is CHILL!!!! in de freezer!!! *laughs like an idiot to myself*
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
okay..haha..done de quiz that ah ling did like eons ago. hehe..i noe i very slow la. dun scold liao can..actually this quiz, my bro ask mi b4 le. but his got include sex drive de. this one dun have. oh well...so here's it!!
Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Monday, August 07, 2006
HAPPIE BIRTHDAE 2 AH PO!!
ah po!!
haha..happie happie 16th birthday!! it is still a few months away for me 2 join de NC16 club. sob sob..hehe..and ah pearlx will b 24 hrs earlier den mi 2 become member!! grr...
anyway..when my day comes..i wan be VIP ok? who am i tokkin 2 anyway? LMHO.
Jus wanna say again..my best 中国腔 mate..hehe..wish that whatever u wish 4 to come true. and good luck 4 ur o levels!! work hard!! jiayou!! love u!! muacks!!
//~bEst wiShEs~//
vAnEsSa
aH jO
祖儿
haha..happie happie 16th birthday!! it is still a few months away for me 2 join de NC16 club. sob sob..hehe..and ah pearlx will b 24 hrs earlier den mi 2 become member!! grr...
anyway..when my day comes..i wan be VIP ok? who am i tokkin 2 anyway? LMHO.
Jus wanna say again..my best 中国腔 mate..hehe..wish that whatever u wish 4 to come true. and good luck 4 ur o levels!! work hard!! jiayou!! love u!! muacks!!
//~bEst wiShEs~//
vAnEsSa
aH jO
祖儿
aCcuSeD!!
today was so miserable. IDIOT punished us. HELL. we didnt even do anything wrong. we did what we were told to. WE DID...YOU HEAR!? we saw other people moving, so we thought..hey, we can move 2!! so we did. and u called us back. thinking that we defied ur orders, u called us 2 get into our positions. I was thinking of asking you why. i dont think we did anything wrong. and we were being accused by you. and i really regret not raising my hands and reason with you. because if i did reason with you, i have a high chance of winning.
for goodness sake...we are 16. SIXTEEN!! YOUNG ADULTS!! can u stop asking us to do this. it's a learning place..NOT AN ARMY CAMP! and some more we were being punished when we were not in the wrong. Oh wait..i am lucky that i did not reason with you. Because if i did, u will still ask mi 2 do pumping. WhY? it's cuz u were wrong..and given ur character, i dont think u will admit to ur mistake. so i am counting my blessings that i did not waste my precious saliva reasoning with you. Then you asked us tp take off our shoes and pull up our socks. i dont care 2 hoots bout what u said. cuz i am not wearing ankle socks. try 2 sue me for rolling my socks. go ahead!! and u asked us 2 empty our pockets to check if we have anything against de rules on us.
WHY...WHY do you always like to suspect people? Do you even know what de hell is TRUST!!? i bet you dont. we didnt break de rules. you should not even bother checkin us. u should trust us. We can tell what is right and what is wrong. in fact, maybe we can differentiate it better that you can. dont blame us for saying things behind your back. some times, i think you deserve it. i hope you will lose your job one day and peace will bestow among all. No more making a detour just to hide from you. No more wasting our limited pocket money to buy socks just cuz our socks cant b pulled. No more learning in an enviroment of fear. NO NOTHING!!
i am so counting the days when i dont have to see you any longer...that day will come soon!! you have no power whatsoever on me anymore!! so get a life and go find a date or something ok? stop messing in our lives!!
for goodness sake...we are 16. SIXTEEN!! YOUNG ADULTS!! can u stop asking us to do this. it's a learning place..NOT AN ARMY CAMP! and some more we were being punished when we were not in the wrong. Oh wait..i am lucky that i did not reason with you. Because if i did, u will still ask mi 2 do pumping. WhY? it's cuz u were wrong..and given ur character, i dont think u will admit to ur mistake. so i am counting my blessings that i did not waste my precious saliva reasoning with you. Then you asked us tp take off our shoes and pull up our socks. i dont care 2 hoots bout what u said. cuz i am not wearing ankle socks. try 2 sue me for rolling my socks. go ahead!! and u asked us 2 empty our pockets to check if we have anything against de rules on us.
WHY...WHY do you always like to suspect people? Do you even know what de hell is TRUST!!? i bet you dont. we didnt break de rules. you should not even bother checkin us. u should trust us. We can tell what is right and what is wrong. in fact, maybe we can differentiate it better that you can. dont blame us for saying things behind your back. some times, i think you deserve it. i hope you will lose your job one day and peace will bestow among all. No more making a detour just to hide from you. No more wasting our limited pocket money to buy socks just cuz our socks cant b pulled. No more learning in an enviroment of fear. NO NOTHING!!
i am so counting the days when i dont have to see you any longer...that day will come soon!! you have no power whatsoever on me anymore!! so get a life and go find a date or something ok? stop messing in our lives!!
Sunday, August 06, 2006
I have been tagged!!
i have been tagged by dar and pearl.
cant seem 2 copy de instructions. so i shall jus skip that. i didnt complain hor. doing it now.
FAVS
colour: pink, purple, light blue
food: anything edible
song: loads of em!!
movie: loads of em 2!!
sport: swimming, cycling n badminton
day of de week: saturday
season: autum..2 bad spore dun have.
ice cream: strawberry
CURRENT
mood: fine
taste: neva eat anything
clothes: shirt wif mi name on it n blue flowery short
desktop:black. com is running in safe mode.
time: 10.18pm
surrounding: lights are on in de areas dat should have light.
annoyance: daddy is scoldin bro 4 sprayin adidas deodrant. he dun like doesnt mean other pple cant spray. if u ask mi, he's kinda selfish.
FIRSTS
best fren: myself.
crush: some guy..we hugged n held hands. UGH!!
movie: de 1 i remembered clearly was tarzan. parents brought mi 2 movies but i always slept thru it. so yea, tarzan.
lie : i didnt brush mi teeth, but i said i did.
music: twinkle twinkle little star
LASTS
cigarette: NO WAY
drink: plain water
ride: dad's car
movie: honey--a little bit onli.
phone call: Liying called mi on mi fone.
CD: cao ge de. plannin 2 buy high school musical.
HAVE U EVER
dated one of ur best frens: neva dated any1 b4.
been arrested: No
skinny-dipped: NO
been on tv: no..well..yes maybe. in my dreams.
kissed someone u dunno: no
THINGS
4 things u did today: laughed. eat. bathed. drink.
4 sounds u can hear right now: keep smilin, keep shining. sis's farts. police siren frm de tv. gun loadin frm de tv.
the choosen five to do this
Yeong sheng
Alda
Pei Shan
Huiting
My bro
cant seem 2 copy de instructions. so i shall jus skip that. i didnt complain hor. doing it now.
FAVS
colour: pink, purple, light blue
food: anything edible
song: loads of em!!
movie: loads of em 2!!
sport: swimming, cycling n badminton
day of de week: saturday
season: autum..2 bad spore dun have.
ice cream: strawberry
CURRENT
mood: fine
taste: neva eat anything
clothes: shirt wif mi name on it n blue flowery short
desktop:black. com is running in safe mode.
time: 10.18pm
surrounding: lights are on in de areas dat should have light.
annoyance: daddy is scoldin bro 4 sprayin adidas deodrant. he dun like doesnt mean other pple cant spray. if u ask mi, he's kinda selfish.
FIRSTS
best fren: myself.
crush: some guy..we hugged n held hands. UGH!!
movie: de 1 i remembered clearly was tarzan. parents brought mi 2 movies but i always slept thru it. so yea, tarzan.
lie : i didnt brush mi teeth, but i said i did.
music: twinkle twinkle little star
LASTS
cigarette: NO WAY
drink: plain water
ride: dad's car
movie: honey--a little bit onli.
phone call: Liying called mi on mi fone.
CD: cao ge de. plannin 2 buy high school musical.
HAVE U EVER
dated one of ur best frens: neva dated any1 b4.
been arrested: No
skinny-dipped: NO
been on tv: no..well..yes maybe. in my dreams.
kissed someone u dunno: no
THINGS
4 things u did today: laughed. eat. bathed. drink.
4 sounds u can hear right now: keep smilin, keep shining. sis's farts. police siren frm de tv. gun loadin frm de tv.
the choosen five to do this
Yeong sheng
Alda
Pei Shan
Huiting
My bro
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